6B Easter                               John 15: 9-17                           May 17, 2009

Last week I had the opportunity to meet up with some of my old college buddies. Seven of us gathered at a place in downtown Minneapolis called The Local, it’s fashioned after an Irish Pub. This was a group of guys I met when I was a freshman and we all stuck together throughout our four years of college. We played intramural football, volleyball and softball together. We often ate together and we took some classes together along the way even though we were all in differing majors.  I suspect the last time all seven of us were together in one place was at our graduation back in 1980. Individually some of us have kept in touch. Glenn was my freshman roommate and now he is now my dentist. Eric and I were roommates for a couple of years. He was also the best man in my wedding and I have watched his children grow up and recently the oldest got married, which was proof that Eric is in fact older than I am. (I am not old enough to have a married child—at least not in my mind.) Mike and I have not been in direct contact but we are Facebook friends and I hear his named mentioned every so often on MPR for some of the production work he provides. During our time together the other night we all more or less fell back into the good old days as we talked about our kids and spouses, what we have been up to for the past 20 + years and recalled stories best not repeated from the pulpit. Even though I have not seen some of these guys for a great long time, I still consider them some of my best friends. I just hope we don’t have to wait so long until we all meet again.

I mention all this because in our Gospel reading for today Jesus talks about friends. Specifically he tells the disciples, “you are my friends…’ and later he says, “I have called you friends.” I have to wonder when I read this passage from John’s Gospel how the disciples initially responded to this announcement. Were they flattered or flustered? Was this good news or was it confusing news? I ask this because by Jesus telling them that they are now friends upsets the usual teacher – student relationship. Jesus is in effect breaking down the normal boundaries of that era and introduces a new dimension to the bond they have shared up to this point.

I remember when a seminary buddy of mine ended up marrying the daughter of my old high school principal. For as long as I had known Ann’s dad, it was Mr. Larsen and now as an adult and as member in the wedding party I was to call him by his first name, Waldo. I’m not sure which was a harder hurdle to get over, calling him Waldo or sitting in his back yard on a hot afternoon sipping a cold adult beverage in his presence. Sometime it can be hard to get over old relationships.

Well, Jesus has told the disciples that he no longer calls them servants, but instead, friends. This raises the obvious question, so what does it mean to be a “friend”?

My wife Julia has defined a real friend as someone you can call when you are stranded at an airport in the middle of the night and that person will come and get you regardless of how poor the weather or how late it might be.

The ancient philosopher Aristotle wrote about three kinds of friendship.
The friendship of unity—a casual friendship as found between business associates.
The friendship of pleasure—a friendship brought together by a shared interest such as fishing buddies, or bridge partners, or the guys I embarrass myself in front of on the golf course.
And then there is true friendship, which is the kind of friendship that happens when one loves the other simply for the other’s sake, without any motive. Aristotle claims this sort of friendship can only possible among real equals.

Is that the kind of friendship Jesus was speaking of? Maybe. It is my understanding that within the First Century Mediterranean world, friendship was a serious matter, not something to be taken lightly. To be a friend was an honor. If you were a friend you were treated as family and kin with all the obligations that go along with that.  To be a friend meant that you were to look out for the welfare of the other and to put the other’s needs on an equal footing as your own. With friendship came reciprocity, that is, you could count on that person to return the same level of concern and care.

So, do you think the disciples were up to the new relationship? Were they able to truly be a friend of Jesus? I have to admit, I don’t think they were up to it, at least not at first. I suspect they were still stuck in the old paradigm relationship, one of teacher and student or master and servant, maybe even parent and child.

Closer to home, I’m not always sure we are up to it either. I would go so far as to say that if we were honest with ourselves, more often than not we like the idea of Jesus being our friend, but we are not always so good at being the same kind of friend in return. Just like we might like the idea of the biggest or most athletic kid in our class being our friend or the most popular or smartest girl being your friend—because we like what they can offer us, but we might not have anything to offer in return and if that is the basis of the relationship-it really isn’t a friendship anyway, is it? Sometimes our relationship with Jesus might even come across as something superficial, a relationship of convenience, a relationship where we do more taking than giving, a relationship lacking reciprocity. 

Lest you think that my primary goal here is to bash the disciples or to reveal our own limited ability to be the kind of friend that Jesus is inviting us to, rest assured, I believe that over time and by the power of the Holy Spirit, the disciples do in fact grow in their friendship, and so do we. Like any mature relationship, it takes time, and it takes challenges and it takes patience. It also helps in that Jesus was a wonderful role model when it comes to showing us what real friendship looks like.

And what kind of friendship does Jesus model?

We can start with the fact that Jesus had all kinds of friends. He was friends with known and public sinners, tax collectors, women with less than ideal reputations; he hung out with lepers and foreigners, with common folks, the down and out; he went to so far as to associate with religious officials! He was a friend to all kinds of people; he ate with them, socialized with them, and took time to listen.

And that leads to the next example; he had time for his friends. If you were to read through the gospels you would note that Jesus was always on the go and somehow he managed to do what he had to do without a PDA or a Blackberry. In the course of his public ministry Jesus found time to travel, teach, pray, and heal. Often he was found at a supper table, sharing a meal with friends. I don’t think these references in the gospels were put there simple to break up the action or to offer a little human interest slant on the story, but because they were at the heart of Jesus’ mission and ministry.

And lastly, Jesus wanted the very best for his friends. He wanted them to grow, to learn, and to be come the people God created them to be. That is why he challenged them and sometimes tested them. That is why he stuck with them when they were dense and confused. That is why he encouraged them, saying, “You will do even greater things than this.” And he loved his friends so much that he was willing to sacrifice himself for them.

Today’s gospel reading is an invitation to each of us to step into a deeper relationship with Jesus. It is an invitation to move closer and deeper into a relationship than we otherwise might be accustomed to. It is an invitation to move from acquaintanceship to friendship, from convenience to discipleship.

In Greg Mortenson’s book, Three Cups of Tea, he writes about his adventures and experiences in Pakistan and Afghanistan.  At the heart of the book is the sentiment expressed by one of the village chiefs when he says to Mortenson; “Here in Afghanistan, we drink three cups of tea to do business, the first you are a stranger, the second you become a friend, and the third, you join our family, and for our family we are prepared to do anything—even die.”

Our Lord and Savior and Friend has invited us this morning to the table to receive the bread and wine, his body and blood and he invites us to do so often so that we too might move from stranger, to friend to family. As we know, this invitation does not come casually, instead it was costly, as it cost Jesus his life, a life he was willing to sacrifice so that each one of us might have new life in the future and a transformed and abundant life in the present. So let us come, let us gather, let us receive the gift of our true friend and let us respond by extending that love to others. Let us move from strangers to friends in both word and deed. Amen.

Pastor Stephen Blenkush
Zion Lutheran Church
Milaca, MN
www.ZionMilaca.org

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